I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
send nudes
from the living room?
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