I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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