She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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