Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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