do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
