Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
