after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
