How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
