He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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