and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
