One girl and one boy is just not enough.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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