looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
