Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize