Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
