I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize