We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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