you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
