I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
