girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
