why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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