I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Randomize
