Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
