you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
