Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
