does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
