im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
