im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize