dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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