dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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