Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Two words: nipple clamps
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