I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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