All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
My vagina is very pro this idea
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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