i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
