You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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