So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
