ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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