just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
