member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
