margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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