If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
