i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
