This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
