my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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