Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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