apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I woke up under a house in Key West
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
