I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Randomize
