Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
