We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize