just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
