non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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