You're completely useless in the revolution.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
