i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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