Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
These tits shall not be calmed
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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