The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
They are going to name an STD after you.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
