I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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