I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
