we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
